In-class Assignment
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then
write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the
first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story.
The first person will then add a third paragraph,and so on back and
forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in
order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both
agree a conclusion has been reached."
"The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students Rebecca - last name deleted, and Gary - last name
deleted."
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STORY
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of
Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked
chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep
her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
and if she thought about him too much her asthma started
acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had
more important things to think about than the neuroses
of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom
he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S.
Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of
resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a
bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted
a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the
direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across
the cockpit.
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He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but
not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for
him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared out the window, dreaming of her youth -- when the
days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no
newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her
sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things
around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become
a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
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Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds
to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress
had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one
to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere
unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile
submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which
vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We
can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em out of the sky!"
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This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic,
semi-literate adolescent.
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Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of
Valium.
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Asshole.
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Bitch.
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(example by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative
Writing, Prof. Miller.)
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